The Artist’s Way Week 12: Recovering a Sense of Faith

I will forever link The Artist’s Way with COVID-19 and lockdown. It is fitting that the end of the programme coincides with our emergence from confinement. Would this process have left me exhausted and spent in a pre-pandemic world? I will never have the answer to that question, so I let it go. What I do know is that on good days I reach for hope and optimism, neither of which seemed possible when I rescued the book from dusty oblivion in the corner of an unloved shelf. I have changed – haven’t we all? – and the new me is not a quitter. I’ve been tempted to jump ship, but I’ve made it to Week 12. Let’s do this.

One thing I won’t do, in defiance of the traditional first page side bar, is ‘acknowledge the inherently mysterious spiritual heart of creativity’. I’ll be glad to see the end of such quasi-religiosity, which when I think about it isn’t even quasi. I agree that creativity requires faith, and for me that faith is in my ability, ideas and processes. I’ve said it before (this is the final week: some repetition is required and excused), but a lot of this is about hard work. It is investigation and exploration: surrounding and immersing oneself in books, art, music, culture; and, paradoxically, connecting with the world in whatever way is possible. It is about having the courage to go to places – internally and externally – that are difficult and intimidating, and pursuing ideas that appear outlandish or non-starters to others. I appreciate what Julia says about relinquishing control, because I recognise that I have been a control freak where my work is concerned and I have learned to relax about my art. I’ve given up on excuses and apologies and now I share and display my work, sometimes before it has been polished, because the engagement of friends and colleagues has suddenly become refreshing and encouraging. I’ve let go of the embarrassment and forced myself to accept praise when it comes my way.

Throughout the course of The Artist’s Way I have balked at the author’s tendency to mythologise and romanticise. I fear the worst when the chapter moves on to Mystery, but I have been guilty of making assumptions and was about to do so again, because this isn’t about work mysteriously appearing from a benevolent universe. On the contrary, this section gets right to the heart of a recent change in my attitude and process: ideas and creativity should be allowed to form at their own pace and once formed, they should be given time to rise, according to Julia’s bread-based analogy. I am learning to let my mind wander and mull, to relax about new projects and to trust that something will appear, as long as I continue to inquire, explore and nurture my artist. I’m amazed to have come so far.

Continuing with her theme, Julia makes one last case for play. We should allow ourselves the same time and space that we give to ideas and projects: ‘It is a paradox of creative recovery that we must get serious about taking ourselves lightly.’ I love and accept this, but this is the part of the programme where I feel I have failed. I kept a few artist dates in the early stages, but they tailed off and at the end of most weeks I skipped the question ‘Did you keep your artist date this week?’ This could be due to lockdown, because the sense of confinement and claustrophobia has been overwhelming at times, but I did try: I made a self-portrait and two short films; I visited galleries online; I baked and cooked; I messed about with poetry; and I learned to love music and dancing again. It’s interesting that I feel I have failed, but that’s the truth of the matter. I’ll work on it.

Escape velocity – the final section of the final chapter – ‘is the minimum speed needed for a free, non-propelled object to escape from the gravitational influence of a massive body’ (thanks Wikipedia, I’ve been meaning to look this up for years). With regard to creative recovery, it means having what it takes to keep going: we must ‘learn to keep our own counsel...move silently among the doubters...voice our plans only among our allies...and name our allies accurately.’ During the three months I have been following The Artist’s Way I have experienced unexpected success and even more surprising reversals of fortune. I have been offered support and encouragement which turned out to be neither; and commitments and agreements have been cancelled without notice or explanation. The image of the sensitive and thin-skinned artist is a common one for good reason, but somewhere along the way I have toughened up. I have learned to have faith in my judgement about who to trust and who to ignore, and when I’m not sure I know where to seek counsel. This might seem obvious, but for me this has been a big and (I hope) decisive step. If you are not with me; if you’re not with the programme then please stand aside, let me recover and let me thrive. I’m an artist and I’m on my way.

POST-SCRIPT: If I could remember them all, I would publish a comprehensive list of what I have learned and the new behaviours that have become ingrained in my creative process since embarking on The Artist’s Way. Instead, and at the risk of repeating myself, here are my highlights: Be confident and trust your judgement. Anything is possible. No idea is too crazy. Surround yourself with supporters. Cut off the naysayers. Nurture your creativity. Be open and flexible. Connect. Be present. Play. But most of all, write your morning pages.

I have been less than dedicated to the tasks and exercises, but I’ve done the best I could in exceptional circumstances, while struggling with anxiety and stress. I will return to the book from time to time, choose random tasks and give them a go.

Would I recommend this programme to someone struggling to recapture their creativity? Yes, why not? There’s something about the process of writing the morning pages, for example, that continues to challenge, satisfy and reward. I haven’t bought into everything and I didn’t fall for it hook, line, and sinker, but I have no doubt that it has helped me to reset and refocus when (in my lowest moments) I feared that all was lost. I’m moving forward with a renewed sense of purpose and possibility and I can’t see how that would have happened without The Artist’s Way.